When Things Change; An Open Letter to My Friend Heather

Written by Jerry Pociask


When change comes into your life what do you do?

Dear Heather
As of late you have faced a lot of change; trials and tribulations of life. Newly divorced, two children to care for, talented and creative, you struck out on a new venture and a new life; yet remain Frustrated? Confused? Disillusioned?
Do not lament your situation. During great change many factors come into play that influences our outcomes. Your resonance of heart appears “incongruent.” You fear being able to meet financial needs. You have children; your “bear” spirit guide makes you protective. You see your talents and wonder if they are being wasted…was all that time spent in training for naught?
You listen to the greatest orators whose words appear magical. You have all the clichéd advice offered you time and again. It’s not your attitude; you’re a doer. You remain positive and work through any change induced negatives that cross your path. You place your life in the hands of a higher power knowing in your heart…you have been there and done that!  Still you wonder, and ask yourself, “What one more thing may I do to change all of this?” You search your past for clues. Og Mandino’s words echo in your mind, “…the past is dead. Let the dead bury the dead.” Still you lie awake searching for one small hint of what you can change.
Words can be all powerful. They can incite and they can calm. They can be manipulated. It is our perceptions of words that help us to understand. Joseph Addison said it this way, “Words, when well chosen, have so great a force in them, that a description often gives us more lively ideas than the sight of things themselves.

Allow me to offer a new perspective on words written about change. A new way of seeing a belief that may help you “see” with new perceptions.

We are told to live life with intention and purpose. Everyday we awake and re-affirm our personal goals, our vows of success. And yet, so many fail to miss that mark. As a coach I know. Not only have I failed in my purpose and intentions, but I failed to help many to see purpose and intention can be misleading. Then slowly I began to see the clarity. We must first understand is what brings our lives “meaning.” Once armed with this understanding of our “why” or meaning in life, I saw THEN and ONLY then can we live a life with purpose and intention.
Webster’s defines “purpose” as: something set up as an object or ends to be attained; ie when we have established goals then we define a daily activity that leads us to the completion of our goals. The definition of “intention”: a determination to act in a certain way; ie our focus becomes performing those actions in support of our purpose and goals.

But it is meaning…it is in the WHY we want to accomplish a specific goal that gives us our mojo and here is where I suggest we become “stuck.” Webster’s defines meaning as: a significant quality; especially: one having the implication of a hidden or special significance.  Therefore I ask, “How can we live a life of intention or purpose when we don’t understand why we want specific goals or what meaning these goals bring to our lives?

We now come full circle. You already know your greatness. You see your talents and your abilities. You have logged successes to support your claims. Now ask yourself,

“What change will bring your life meaning?”

What brings you that burning desire…that unprecedented need to accomplish a goal? When you discover what brings the fire to your spirit, then will you begin to change to living with intention and purpose and achieve the greatness you have previously designed for yourself.

With love

Jerry helps people discover and see alternatives in their lives. A trained Coach with over 4000 hours experience; he has successfully worked with groups and individuals focusing on personal and career goals; helping people discover new meaning in their lives. He is a Certified Moral Reconation Therapy Group leader working with persons having developmental disabilities, felons to assimilate into the mainstream and most recently work with veterans and civilians who have sustained head injuries, to find new meanings in their lives.

His techniques are unique. He helps people understand the 'why' they want to be. Because without the why and the willingness to change, choices they make can be subjective and success is rare.

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