Complacency is a State of Being …

Today we are sharing Jerry's story with you. If you have experienced change in your life then you are not alone. Jerry's life has changed almost unrecognisably in the last nine years … over to Jerry to fill you in on the details;           
Complacency is a state of being often as dangerous as angst. In angst we are aware of potential dangers. In complacency we become smug. We see ourselves being self fulfilled and unconcerned or unaware of possible dangers. That was the state of mind I was in until early fall 2001.
October 2001 found me standing graveside as I watched my father’s casket being lowered into the ground. In April of 2002 I became another workplace statistic; i.e. middle-upper-class white collar male who’s services will no longer be needed and replaced by the person who I mentored. Finally in June of 2002, the judge granted a divorce after almost 27 years. The irony was I was still being complacent!
I was sure I would find another job with little effort. I never realized we were at the beginning of what is still being called the longest and deepest recession since the Great depression. I was cavalier in my thinking. I remained close to my children, but friends and relatives were split in their loyalties to me or my ex. I was complacent. I never saw it coming. In retrospect, perhaps a dose of angst may have caused me to take preventative measures…then again, perhaps not.
The next four or five years became a blur. Hundreds of resumes sent out resulting in a handful of interviews. The answer always the same, “Thanks but no thanks.” I travelled a bit; visiting one daughter in Australia, a golf holiday with my son and a trip to Ireland with my other daughter. As if life had handed me an alternate route and I was searching for new roads new answers none of which came. Then accidently I read an article about life coaching. After research on schools and qualifications required I knew I had found my new route. Now all I had to do was begin the journey.
People always sought my counsel, perhaps because I could easily discern what was at issue and find simple solutions for those willing to change? Recently I was honoured by Native Ojibwa’s with a name that means, “He who sees clearly.” Not a more appropriate name could have been bestowed on any man. My ability to “see clearly” has allowed me to quickly work through excuses that frequently blind an individual to change. Armed with my coaches training I began a new journey finding and helping those individuals willing to make changes. It was here my lessons in life were once again most apparent.
So now I am faced with a number of dilemmas. I know I am very good at what I do, but how do I overcome this intense aversion to egotistical self promotion? How can I begin to cultivate a following or people who are willing to remain open to change? And even more importantly, how do I parley what I have learned, what I know, what I am capable of doing into a reasonable amount of income?
I love to attend cocktail parties and ask people. “Who are you?” For every question the response is always the same…”I’m a doctor…teacher…nurse…mechanic…” Why do we define ourselves by what we do? Even Alcoholics Anonymous insists a person introduce themselves as an alcoholic…Is that REALLY who they are? We are a sum total of a life’s experience, not one frame of a movie, rather we are a series of frames that culminates in an end.
At this point in my life I have a few wishes. I wish my children see me as a man who did his best to be an example and a father. I wish to be in a relationship that shares intimacies beyond the physical…and I intend to face my “Creator” and say….”Yep! I used all the talents you gave me!”
Jerry has extensive experience as a coach. Questions can be directed to

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