Written by Julie Holmwood
Just reading an article in the Daily Mail this morning about the skeletal models used (again) for London Fashion Week. Some of the images should come with a government health warning, they are that sickening
I understand confused self-image and the inability to assess ones own self using external vision. But what about everyone else; family, friends, colleagues, managers, directors, agents … Where are the people that should give these girls a sanity (and health) check? To point out that what might be good for their client is devastatingly bad for them?
Can money be more important than self?
It got me thinking about other industries and other career paths. Are you asked to compromise yourself for your career? Does getting paid mean selling out?
I remember talking to a defence barrister about his career. My question was ‘how do you defend the person that bludgeoned the old-lady or that killed a child?’ When you know someone committed a crime, how do you find the loophole that gets them off and keeps them out of jail? Because to be successful you surely need to win cases. No-one is going to hire the barrister that never wins the day. His answer was that everyone has the right to a fair trial.
One of my favourite ways to explain human behaviour is to tell you the story of the simmering frog;
(don’t try this at home!)
If you were to put a frog into a pan of boiling water it would jump straight out and hop away. However, if you were to put the same frog into a pan of cold water and place it over a gentle heat, the frog will boil to death. The reason? Frogs can’t determine gradual temperature change, so if you can heat the water slowly enough, the frog will not notice the water becoming hotter
People are the same. If you take someone and place them in an alien environment they will jump straight out. But put them into a situation that gets gradually worse, day by day things decline ever so slightly and you become acclimatised to the changes and don’t notice how far things have fallen.
Of course, this can work for positive things too. You get a small raise, you adjust your spending, you get a small raise, you adjust your spending, you get another raise, you adjust your spending. You now earn a veritable fortune, compared to way back when, but you don’t feel as rich as you imagined when you dreamt about this moment and having so much wealth. You acclimatised slowly!
When you stand back and think about the dreams you had and you look at where you are now, have you simmered to a more positive or more negative place? Are you selling out on your early dreams? Have you surrounded yourself with people that have made what you’re doing seem ok, even though the old you would have been horrified to live this life?
Do you sometimes feel depressed or have trouble sleeping? Can you see where the discord might be coming from?
Jim Rohn said ‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with’
Translated, that means that you can make anything seem ‘normal’ if you can find five people that do or act the same.
Be careful who you spend your time with. They have the ability to heat you gently
Julie is the Lead Career Coach at Churchill Brook. She works with clients who are frustrated by their career success (or lack of it) and her approach is that of part coach, part mentor and part consultant. She is available to work with limited clients on a one-to-one basis or via our popular career change group classes (check out ‘what we offer’).
Before joining Churchill Brook in 2009, she spent twelve years as an international headhunter, where she successfully helped her clients to recruit exceptional people. She is an expert at getting candidates noticed by companies and had one of the highest success ratios for CV submission to hire that we know of within the recruitment industry
Another article you might enjoy about the influence people have in your life
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