Written by Kal Malik
Life coaches understand that there are two principal forces that govern motivation. I like to call them the two D’s. The first of these D’s is understood by most of us, it is called Desire.
Of course it makes sense that being motivated in a particular direction we would rightly desire to be going in that direction.
As a force for motivation or a “kick up the backside” if you will, desire is alas a pretty lame force. For example, many of us that are stuck in the quicksand of procrastination, have goals and the desires to achieve them, so why aren’t we heading forwards?
Lets just pause for a moment and consider.
Do you have any desires/goals? Are they in the physical realm, for example to be fitter and healthier? Or in another part of your life for example: finances or relationships. In particular do you have any desires that are lacking any movement to being attained?
Surprisingly such states are quite normal and it isn’t often that a mere desire will help with your motivation towards its attainment. This is where the second D comes in.
The motivation comes with the second D, which, if you haven’t guessed it, stands for Disturbance. By this I mean some situation or thought that has created a disturbance in your current situation, a disturbance that is your motivation to move.
Let me give you a rather over-the-top example. So you come home from a long day at work and rather than going out to the gym, which you have been promising yourself to do for the last few months you sit down in front of the tube and tell yourself, tomorrow.
Let’s inject a disturbance into this scenario. As before, you come home from work and find an envelope on the doorstep. It is from your doctor and it says that if you don’t immediately start to get some physical exercise you will be in hospital within the month.
A bit dramatic perhaps, but you get the picture I hope. The “disturbance” caused by the letter would certainly create the motivation to desire exercise, wouldn’t you agree?
Often life coaches have to go into uncomfortable territory with clients because they understand that the greater motivator is disturbance.
The good thing about disturbances is that we don’t actually need the letter from the doctor, we can do it all in our head, after all that’s where it is anyway.
Going back to the desires/goals you thought of before. Pick one that you greatly wish to have in your life over the next year or so but haven’t been moving on.
Now, to find the motivation, the question that you have to consider is this.
Let’s say ten years have passed and after all that time you are still in the position that you are now, where this goal is concerned. Each day/week/month you have said, 'tomorrow I will move on it' and now, ten years later, it is too late. How do you feel? What have you lost out on for having not pursued it?
If your goal/desire is important to you, then you can see that answering such questions is painful and it wont surprise you to learn that this is the reason why we don’t ask these questions of ourselves.
But as I suggested, if Disturbance creates motivation, then asking such questions will provide us with the disturbance that we may need to get moving towards our desires.
There are some other distinctions that life-coaches have under their belt that need to be shared with you regarding the two D’s.
Disturbance is only a short-term motivator. It is like the jump-leads that get a car going. Once the car is moving, the desires take over and move us along in accordance with their direction.
We should use Disturbances sparingly and of different kinds, because our ability to adapt kicks in and we become habituated or immune to their potential power. As Tony Robbins, the master of motivation says, “pleasure is the only long term motivator.” Disturbances cause pain and thus are only a short-term mover.
What we need to do is leverage “pleasure” over the long-term and that is the simplest and most delightful thing to do. Simply treat yourself. Have daily, weekly and monthly milestones and with each of these reward yourself with some pleasure.
Let’s just recap then.
1) Clarify your desires/goals. Write down what achieving them would mean, what would you get out of them being realised.
2) Find leverage by mentally moving to the future and feeling the Disturbance of not having achieved your goals/desires.
3) Remember to use the power of pleasurable rewards as long-term motivators. Create regular milestones (the more regular the better) and when you hit them, reward yourself with pleasure treats.
Kal Malik is a renowned author, teacher and speaker in the fields of personal/spiritual development, holistic therapies and para-psychology.
For the last twenty years, Kal has been a parapsychological investigator and explorer. As a result of his extensive study and experience in this domain Kal has taught parapsychology for the last 12 years and regularly speaks on related subjects.
Kal has written 10 books on holistic therapies and just finished, “Active Enlightenment – How to Create Miracles”.
Kal holds degrees in Information Technology, Psychology and a Masters in Artificial Intelligence. He is a qualified teacher, holistic therapist, a certified NLP practitioner, life coach, Reiki master and a practitioner of energy harmony. There is more information on his website Original Purity
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