How to: Get Fired on Twitter

Freedom of (Tweet) Speech

For those that are still to try Twitter, it is a Social Media site that allows you to post your thoughts in 140 characters or less.
Loved by the media many stars and celebrities ‘tweet’ their lives.

How can a tweet get you fired?

What damage can you do using 140 characters? If you’re wondering just how much you can say in that space, re-read this sentence Bang on 140!
What do people write in such short sentences that causes them so much harm?
Let’s just say that the research for this article has been quite surprising. I consider myself a fairly private, open person. This past week, I have met a whole host of public, open people. Shocking!
There were some key recurring themes that you might want to avoid if you either want to keep your current job OR get that new job.
Key point: Your Twitter account is much more likely to be looked at when you are job hunting. Companies are double-checking social media sites more and more as part of their due diligence checks.

Themes to avoid tweeting:

From post-it notes to office furniture. If you didn’t pay for it and you take it home, technically it’s theft. We have all found a company pen in our home office, but should you tweet your finds?
Caroline The office I'm working in has the same coffee machine as me. They just had an enormous delivery of pods. I might steal them. Interview definitely cancelled! Possibly fired – particularly if the coffee pods do go missing!
SJ One sweet thing about being the boss in the office is that you can actually order specific supplies you want to steal. Not even a might …fired!
Ninny Just failed security pretending to be my boss on the phone to the bank. B*llocks! You’re fired!
We have all told a lie in our lives. Sometimes they are small and white. Other times they are huge whoppers. I’ll tell you mine if you tweet me yours?
Breann was late for work today and lied like I forgot to set my clock back an hour.
Mathias A good week starts with croissants on Monday morning. Looking forward to taking a sickie with the kiddo today.
Patty I feel bad I lied to my boss to leave early but I'm so out of it today :(
Chris Got caught sleeping at work Had to pretend I was praying..
Possibly only a warning for these lies, but isn’t it easier if you don’t tweet about them?
Wasting Time (on Twitter maybe?)
Of course you’re wasting works time, you’re tweeting. But it gets worse …
NaP I spend an inordinate amount of my work day pretending to defecate so I can tweet. Yeugh!
Ashraf if there's one thing I HATE, it’s when I'm just about to doze off and the boss walks into the office, makes noise and I wake up… I’m sure there’s a solution …
Nathan In the library pretending to do work, but watching the Inbetweeners on my phone. Tidy. No-one will ever know if you tweet about it.
John Just got busted using Twitter at work. It was a good thing they didn't see my previous tweet about baboons' ar*es. Fight the system, etc. You learnt your lesson then. Don’t use Twitter at work! Oh no, you’re tweeting it …
Desiree My boss is playing video games, my co-worker is watching Family Guy, and I'm on Twitter!!…this is how we spend our workday! Lol. I’m sure people higher up in the company would love to see this. Or clients maybe? Makes a good impression.
Neal – I've had sex with MYSELF in my office. Twice. Today. Thanks for sharing. Fired!
Traci – Boss let me off a few minutes early to go to the sex toy shop! Of course, I told him it was the bank, but the two are pretty much the same. Wrong on many counts. Possibly just a warning.
Zilli – That awkward moment when your boss is having phone sex with a client…….. Boss could quite likely fire you for this one. Particularly if he(?) is married, or it becomes obvious who the client is.
Adam – Sitting in my office watching cctv and w*nking as loads of half naked women walk round my store, thank you summer. What a lovely thought for next time you go shopping! Fired!
Spw – My boss hung up the phone on his wife to speak to his mistress ctfu. I don’t think the boss would want this publicised to the world; fired!
(not) Working Hard
Joseph – It's terrifying how good I'm getting at pretending to work.
Travis – Pretending to do work… At work…
Sara – Pretending to work because there's a tour group strolling by
Cezir – Can't wait for my boss to leave early today so I can sneak out to the pad and knockout for a couple hours. Running on 2.5 hours o' sleep
Emily – I really hope this audit guy is gone I'm tired of pretending I actually work hahahaaahhaaa
Christina – Boss is back from vacation, now I actually have to pretend to be doing work.
None of these are sackable, but a warning would be on the cards.
Drink and Drugs
Paul – Not good being drunk, heading to work and falling asleep in the canteen! I must love my job that much! This might get you a warning, depending what you do for a living and how drunk you are. Best avoided.
Bradley – Kinda dumb that my "work hours" coincide with my "tweeting drunk from a lounge chair" hours. As above, these kind of tweets are best avoided.
Bally – I wish I brought some smoke to work…being that it’s raining and its Fri-HiGH-day, I could of got a nice session in rite quick. Drugs are always a fireable offence. Definitely fired!
Stacey – Have to interview someone in half hour but have had 2 pints and a foot long sub. Professional boss me. This could be a career staller. No company wants to know their interviewers are drinking on the job.
Insulting the Boss
Ian – Sick of working here with racist boss
Courtney – The boss' slut of a daughter who doesn't know sh*t will get the job.
Lydia – After Monday I’m job hunting, it’s not the job it’s the boss
Lina – I been here for 2 hours & I already wanna punch my boss in his f*!@in throat. I'm really goin hard with the job hunting this weekend…
Carmen – Boss was talking to me this morning and all that was running through my mind was "I hate you. I hate you. Die. I hate you." Is that normal?
No boss is going to appreciate reading these. The easy solution? You don’t have to work there … you’re likely to get fired for all of these.
General Rudeness
Dick – Our canteen are now doing bigger tea cakes for 60p. That's the sort shag sack, dog f$*!ers I work for.
Kim – That one colleague where you think 'why do you even bother asking me something, I’m not gonna do it anyway cause I hate your guts'
Esje – Aaaaah! FML! God, I hate my work! And that stupid colleague! I have to explain everything twice. How long do you work here?!
Eleanor – I have this re-occurring nightmare called a job
Donya – I hate my job.. I hate my job.. I hate my job.. I hate my job.. I hate my job.. I hate my job..
Lee – I hate this job. I hate this building. I hate these clients. I hate these people. I hate lacefronts.
Cathy – I want to kill every client this morning! I hate Mondays !!!!!!
These fall in the same category as being rude about your boss. The response is likely to be ‘you don’t have to work here, you’re fired!’
Andrea – Dear A**hole who decided to tell my boss I have an interview elsewhere tomorrow- I hope you work your entry level telemarketing job forever
Andrew – Job interview today. Hopefully I get it so I can call my current 'boss' a fat c*&t and tell her I'm leaving!
Mikuro – So I finally got my job interview I've been waiting for. Got to go beg hag boss for the time off however as I have no annual leave left….
Josh – "I gotta try and remember what I lied from my last interview. So they don't say 'that's not what you said last week.'" Lmao
Whether you get caught lying to your current boss or, lying in your new interview, it is unlikely you are going to make the right impression with that new company. Plus, if you don’t get that new job, your secret that you’re looking is out
You may be disillusioned with your current job and it might be time to move on. Or you could be having a bad day. There was an old saying; ‘least said, soonest mended.’ That definitely applies to baring all on social media. Particularly Twitter, which is so easy to search.
Shout at an inanimate object. Tell your best-friend when you get home and you can talk one-to-one. Get it off your chest any way you can… that doesn’t involve telling millions of strangers and possibly the very people you least want to know.
InterviewAuthor of 'Get That Interview' and 'Click Start Your Career Success' Julie is The Jobseeker's Guide. She works with thousands of clients through her audio and web-based programmes, helping them get 'job search fit' and successfully navigate their way into that new role
Select clients are able to apply to work with Julie one-to-one
Before joining Churchill Brook in 2009, she spent twelve years as an international headhunter, where she successfully helped her clients recruit exceptional people. Julie is an expert at getting candidates noticed by companies and had one of the highest success ratios for CV submission to hire that we know of within the recruitment industry


Check out what some of her clients have said about her
© 2012 Churchill Brook International


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