Written by Jerry Pociask
It has become the topic of conversation around the world; people are losing their job at alarming rates. The incidence of depression on the increase; alcohol addictions, divorces grow along with the increases of job loss.
Ever attend a cocktail party and ask a person, “Tell me, who are you?” and the first response 99% of the time is to say what they do? How have we evolved to a point where the person no longer matters?
Why do we define ourselves by a job rather than a life?
Losing ones job should already become a factor of our lives like a budget in our households. It has already been said the average person will change their job more often than they change their underwear! (Pun intended). Yet it is true. In today’s employment world a loss of a job is inevitable, we know it, we see it and yet we suffer severe emotional loss when it happens. It’s as if we lose our own validation…or is it that we see our job as a way to validate ourselves?
As a coach, I have sat in many sessions and have asked a client, “If you could do ANYTHING in this life, ANY JOB, what would it be?”
I see their eyes glass over in dreams; some even begin to cry as they explain about lives lost or the life they have always wanted to live. Then I see as the pragmatist returns. The immediate response is to belittle their thoughts and live by the “thoughts of ought.” They justify the need to utilize 6 years of education, forgetting the fact they became a lawyer or doctor not necessarily because they wanted to, rather because they were told they “ought” to.
A well worn cliché, “this life is not a dress rehearsal,” contains much wisdom! So perhaps the loss of a job needs to be seen as a great opportunity to redefine our lives. To reach out and embrace change so that we can truly become the person we SEE ourselves as. Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “We are not human beings…we are human becomings!” We are all truly a diamond in the rough!
So the next time you are told your services will no longer be needed, smile and be grateful to the person who just handed you a gift! Then go home, take a walk in the park or go for a drive and begin to assess where you “see” your life in the next few years. Assess your talents, your abilities, your desires and slowly allow this to evolve into a creation of who you really are!
Be creative in your assessment. Recently in a local paper there was a lady who converted a camper into a commercial kitchen and took her recipes on the road. Her creativity showed her she didn’t have to limit herself to a stationary building; it showed her the ability to take her product and services TO the people!
Evaluate your assets. Become selfish in your needs. Surround yourself with people who truly are supportive and are willing participants in your journey. You WILL have friends who will see you as pariah. Those are not friends. They will drain you of all your energies with their own fears. Wish them well and then say goodbye!
Times are changing for everyone. There are no exemptions to the possibility of losing a job. So don’t become the deer frozen in oncoming headlights when that happens. Become proactive with your life, asses your talents and abilities constantly. Stop defining your life by what you do, rather define yourself as who you are! When you are faced with life changes, make those changes from a position of strength and power living a life of want rather than ought.
Jerry helps people discover and see alternatives in their lives. A trained Coach with over 4000 hours experience; he has successfully worked with groups and individuals focusing on personal and career goals; helping people discover new meaning in their lives. He is a Certified Moral Reconation Therapy Group leader working with persons having developmental disabilities, felons to assimilate into the mainstream and most recently work with veterans and civilians who have sustained head injuries, to find new meanings in their lives.
His techniques are unique. He helps people understand the 'why' they want to be. Because without the why and the willingness to change, choices they make can be subjective and success is rare.
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